Seriously i am at my lowest now i don't know how to describe how i feel. I've never felt so alone as i do now.. i literally have no one.... well i have my girl friend and dont get me wrong i love her and im thankfull for her but other then her i have no one else i can call a friend not one friend just reverted back to being alone.. This has been the longest i have been depressed for in a long time and im afraid to say it but i dont see no end to this depression anytime soon... nor do i see the point in going on.

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The Thoughts Of a Broken Man

http://soundcloud.com/mmmusic/willie-nelson-the-scientist....... listen and read

I'm a wreck I'm just going to flat out say it I'm a wreck i don't know what to do with my self anymore... i wanna talk about whats going on but i don't know how and too who..... I'm scared of life ever since i was a kid i dreaded this moment I'm in now I'm lost in this world I'm scared and i doubt my self I'm scared for the future.

i have two thing that keep me going my grand parents my grandpa my hero the man i look up to the man i want to be like when i get older..........All i want to do is make him proud of me proud of his grand son....Ever since I've lost faith in my father my grand pa has become my father i wanna be successful to make him proud and happy he's done so much for me it's the least i could do for him....

The other thing that keeps me going is.......Carolina she's what gets me through everything she makes me feel whole she is one reason why i wake up everyday even when i don't want to wake up anymore...... I'm scared if i don't move on to college ...... I'll lose her .........i don't want to lose her she means the world to me i love her so i try my hardest to do well in life for her because i want her to be proud of me too. She is my rock in this changing world and the only woman i love............

Right now I'm a lost,scared and broken man a shell of the former care free person i use to be. My mind is just polluted with the notion of failure and disappointment i pray that one day i may come back here and write about the bright side but for now this is..... The words of a broken man.

I didn't think id be back here after all this time. My laptop battery is going to die soon so i guess i will keep this short... i feel a sense of drifting between me and another *i wont mention who*. Who knows what i feeling or why I'm feeling it but it all feels strange to me..... Confused all over again....some what upset.....lost in my thoughts and mind.

No one will understand for i keep everyone out and away.......... i think things will change most likely in the wrong state of mind right now.

Scared don't want to lose what i hold dear........

Wish i knew ... how ... they feel

If its the same as how i feel

Mind over thinks over analyzes at times....probably nothing

That's all for now.

ding dong the blog is dead

HELLOOOO ANYONE OUT THERE IN T.O? u peeps have abondoned me lol ( oki fine i kno i left but still u could write on the blog plzzzz) JOSH WHERE IS U?

Turn back time

I wish that I could turn back time,
Go back to the days when he was mine,
I would be so happy again,
I wouldn't be living with all this pain.

I'm missing that little connection,
I want to feel your deep affection.
Can't I just hold you tonight,
Baby, we really don't have to fight.

Our conversations ended too soon,
you always grabbed your coat and left the room,
My heart is dissolving on the floor,
You and I don't talk anymore.

We were drawn together by love's chemistry,
I always believed you were my destiny,
You were in my heart each and every day,
I am asking now, why have you gone away.

I used to feel your love higher than the sky,
It seemed as there was no-one but you and I.
Where did all our happiness go?
I really wish that I could know.

I guess maybe I love you too much,
I am hungering for your touch,
This feeling is hurting me deep,
Its even there when I am asleep.

It seems love's got a hold on my heart,
It won't let you and I be apart,
I wish that I could turn back time,
Go back to the days you were mine.

© Tara-Kay Randall 02-04-06

win and fail all in one post <3 i miss writting in the blog it used to be so much fun to just chill out infront of my computer. I don't even use y darn laptop anymore-_-

p.s i dun think we are ever guna get a chance to hang out everytime we make plans it doesn't work out

:O

Hello fellow bloggers!!!!

The blog world is running off to tumblr! I honestly don't see the difference! I mean come on Blogspot is just as great ?!?! Only with more interesting things to read for those of us with a functioning brain <3 LOVING BLOGGERS! sooo soo soo ... another uneverntful week has gone by:P SCHOOL BITES! I miss vacation already and its only been 6 school days-_-. I think it's just the actual school I go to !:( Somebody ship me back to Toronto asap!! Anywaysss my mother is giving me the massage of my life and i can no longer think... catlike much ? BYE BYE BLOGGERS....

Ohh one more thing.. i might be addicted to VAMP DIARIES :( fail on my half but its addictive