My Epic Weekend-
Hey loyal readers, I thought it'd be a nice time to write another blog post thingamabbobby, and what better to write about than my epic weekend. Anyway, this weekend I had signed up for a two day crash CPR-C and Standard First Aid course (cause I was too lazy to do it before) (Little bit of info on it- It's the final First Aid course required to take National Lifeguard Course when you're 16, I didn't bother doing it before so I'm like what the heckz?)
Anyway, on
Friday I was all chilling n stuff in mah house and no one was home, it was epic fun. And then my pal Ryan came over and we started playing soccer and stuff and being retards like we usually are. Man we broke so much shit in my house; My sister's door, a flower pot, wine cup, my backyard gate. (There's a bit of a story behind each one, and they are all LOLZ worthy) Haha oh yeah and some kid fell in a garage and I punctured my abdomin laughing (I don't even know if that's possible)
Next,
Saturday comes. As explained above I had my CPR course (Freaking 8 hours a day, from 9am-5:30~6) I made like so many friends and had fun, got on the teachers nerves so many times. I remember the first move I pulled was within the first half hour of class. We were given latex gloves for bleeding victims (Cause herpes isn't always fun) So yeah some dude from the other side of the table that I didn't even know said "Man, this is such a tight fit!" Really. I couldn't help myself. I swiftly said "That's what she said!" Everything went quiet for about 4 seconds, an incredibly awkward silence that felt like it wouldn't ever end. Then people randomly started laughing and the instructor gave me the
dirtiest look ever. Man how good am I? Making a bad impression in the first half hour? xD But oh hoh, that wasn't the end of my (what people call stupidity)
creativity. :)
It was even funnier after she taught us techniques of how to bandage broken arms and do triangular slings and stuff. She taught us like, 5 and then gave us 10 minutes to "practice" Seeing as my
creativity was pumping, I decided to tell my friends, "Hey guys, let's do all the bandage techniques,
at the same time!" So yeah, what they did was bandage MY arms back with a tubular bandage thing, then figure 8'd my legs together multiple times, and then put two donut bandages over my eyes and gave me a head bandage, and then another guy decided it would be fucken HILARIOUS to tie my head to my feet. Seeing as I no longer had a say (
literally, I could barely speak) they did it. So there I was tied with like, 10 bandages. I got up, hopped across the class and threw myself on the ground. The door then suddenly opened. The look on the instructor's face was like the funniest/scariest thing ever. Her expression was a mix of devastated, pissed off, and overall disapointed. She yelled so freaking loud and was so close to kicking us out. It was so fucking funny, the way she was yelling at us somehow made me laugh, under the bandages all you hear is muffled laughs. Oh man she gave me such a lecture but it was so fucking worth it. (
Protip: my friend took multiple pictures, and mighth'v posted them on f/b, I'll post here later if he does, with a link :)) I'm not gonna list all the shit I did cause this would be neverending. I got home and did some mass studying cause I wanted to make the second day look like I'm focused and not a complete idiot xD
Then
Sunday rolls along. It was a normal class and such, I tried my best not to pull stupid moves all day, and somewhat succeeded. I made another friend who was like awesome at doing some powermoves in bboying (for those that don't already know, I'm starting to learn bboying, even though lately I haven't had time to do much) and he was doing a buncha flips n shit and I failed miserably at imitating xD Knocked over a sofa thingy and the caretaker yelled at me xD Oh man and we had to learn a land spinal rollover... it's so freaking awkward... you have to basically put your crotch over the victim's face (luckily, in a real situation that would only be used on unconscious victims :). It also means that for those people that's partner believes showering isn't required everyday, I salute you.) Anyway I had to do it and it was weird... but I hope I don't have to do that ever again (I'm probably gonna be proven wrong in NLS, almost positive about it) Anyway I passed the class and such (Even though I thought I wouldn't, and the teacher... smiled... at me. :|Hah and she's probably gonna teach NLS when I take it, so I guess it's all good... I hope?) Kay so I get home at like 5 maybe 6, and yay no ones home, but guess who forgot his key? Egh, I had to go rummage my garage for a key. After 5 minutes of looking, I
lightly touched a piece of wood that was under a barrel, looked up, and got a 2 by 4 to the head. How the bastard got there, I don't know, but what I did know was that I was seeing stars; freaking literally. It hit me so bad, in like the worst part of my head, too. I had to crawl to my front door because it felt like a hamster was having a bad seizure in the core of my brain (While holding knives or a bat or something; point is, it fucking hurt) So what did I have to do? Jump my neigbour's roof, climb my way to my side of the house, and pray my window was open. Luckily it was, so I had to shove myself in it. It's like the smallest freaking window ever, I bashed my teeth on the side of the frame on the way in. After getting in, made my way downstairs, still waddling cause of the blow to my head, looked at the kitchen and it was almost better than that time I remembered my goggles when I went to the pool and a load of girls were there wearing tho- uhh you get the idea. On the table, was basically a huge easter feast-like thing. (If you have a Portugese parent or relative, you should know what I mean. Basically, it's like a buffet thing. And what Portuguese people do on Easter is like, group together with relatives and basically go to eachother's head and stay for like 20 minutes, chowing down at each house.) Anyway there was so much sexed food and I was hungry cause I only chugged a Yop that day, and nibbled on a peanut I think. It might have been some sort of weird mirage or something because of my hit to the head, but meh I devoured it basically even though I probably shouldn't have eaten all that cheese. Seriously cheese is like one step under sex for me. You'd probably think "Don't you get loads of diarhea eating that?" Actually, no. For some odd reason it's like I have built in Pepto Bismol. Last time I've had the ol' runs was in grade 2, when I literally shat myself in class. Wasn't fun. Well anyway I hope it'll work when/if I try nutmeg; cause it causes nausea or something :( I pretty much just took the rest of the day off for Sunday, jus' chilling xD For some reason, I really miss my CPR class. Like there were so many cool people in it and I didn't get all of their emails and stuff (Only like, 4 or 5) and like woulda been awesome if it wasn't a crash course, but whatever I suppose.
As for
Monday, I just took a
Filday. Slept/played video games n just watched tv. Lazy day pretty much xD This weekend was so much fun for me, as opposed to some boring ones that roll around sometimes, whether due to lack of money, or lack of available friends, or in my case sometimes lazyiness. Well whatever, I hope NLS is gonna be this fun, but I'm probably gonna need to be more serious since it's more than double the price ($200 I believe) of CPR C.
Well people who took the time to read this xD I spent like a half hour on this and I bet it's a bitch to read xD Hope it tickled you inside
in a good way. This has been Fil's Epic Post. Later y'all!
PS- Josh can I photoshop a banner for this? I'm not digging the cards xD. Can you somehow let me change some of the layout? :P If not FIIEENN. D:
PSS- For all that wanna check out my site, (I made it cause I thought iWeb was pointless, so I decided to test it out and it's pretty cool, so I just threw a buncha pointless shit on it.) here: www.fusedsx.tk and if that doesn't work, www.fusedsx.uuuq.com :)
