confusion has finaly set in and im ok with it

so it seems I've come back here sooner then i expected. I come back though with a greater understanding of the situation and how i feel about it all at first i thought id feel really bad and some what "broken" but i don't.

It feels like it hasn't phased me at all i dunno if it is because i keep filling my self with false hope that hopefully she would take notice of how much I've tried to help her and show her how i feel but.... at the same time i feel as I'm helping delta out which bothers me thus causing me to pick my words wisely thinking she is asking questions that would help her understand him.

See she would send me messages about asking "how would a guy would prove he likes or is into a girl" and i tell her what I think and what I would do" i didn't really get it at first but now i do.

she said she is confused and doesn't know what to do but what bothered me was what about me what about all the stuff i said and did what about all the effort i put into asking her. I continue to assume that every ting she said was a lie and it sucks to think that because i don't know what to do.
she says: So its awkward when I talk to u about him?
me says: but then i dunno what to do because of that whole ex thing
she. says: I'm sorry
me says: no its not awkward i just feel that
[she. says: Like I told him ima tell you. Don't wait for me to make up my mind and choose or say final say. I don't know right now.
me says: yea i knew that i somewhat knew that because you said u were confused and all
she. says: Sorry. I really hate when stuff like this happen.
me says: that makes to of us :)


and with a fake smile i tries to hide how he is feeling about everything but for sure he knows he is confused but he doesn't care. I guess that's what happens after a while always being there for some one when they need someone and always helping out and getting walked on changes a person.. in a way i don't feel sadden or depressed and it confuses me allot.

I've learned something about this though i learned not to get close to anyone if u don't want to feel used and all that stuff that is associated with being depressed with these kinds of things.

i guess the next step to this is trying to figure out what to do about it all now because i sure as hell don't know what to do.

i really don't feel like writing that much and i just really wanna go to sleep and just dream about things and hopefully not think about it or wake up thinking about it id rather wake up thinking about what to do.