just when i think things are getting better the fog clears and everything is as messed up as it was before

i have decided to use the blog as a way to come and vent out a bunch of stuff on my mind and as a way to let out some bottled up feelings and what not. since the blog has been getting very little use i thought it be safe to post this on it because i only have trusted friends who co write on it and no one Else knows of its existence. I will use fake names to keep things under wraps with who it involves

So just when i think things were getting better with my predicament the same outside factor that messed it up for me decided to show up again. now i can understand how...delta feels *i will refer to outside factor as delta* wanting to be taken back and to apologies for what he has done or what has been said of him i don't no the details between delta and her.

see Ive had sum theories and Ive been told other thoughts on why he has come back after a bit of an absence. 1st) delta has noticed that she has started to move on and is more happier with another *I'll refer to other as billy* and when he noticed that her and billy have been getting close it effected him in a way were he didn't want her to get close with billy and that he wanted her back but not for the right reasons.

2ND)she believes that since she ended it with delta he wants to get back with her make everything seem all good and great then when things are at it's high he would end it with her. it's my understanding he is doing this to get sum sort of revenge or get the satisfaction of breaking up with her.

now she believes that every thing delta said is complete and utter bullshit and she doesn't trust him. But she is also confused and stressed out about this situation and doesn't know what to do about it all now.

billy on the other hand is confused about it all doesn't no what to do and feels at times he made a mistake falling for her when he also had feelings for sum one Else and he knows that it would be more straight foreword with the other girl.

See billy has herd all the shit she has been through and has seen how she has become a stronger person by dealing with it and its something he admires about her. So he somewhat set him self on a mission to prove that not all guys are assholes who only think of one thing , to show that not all guys are the same, to show that there are guys who really do care about one person and would do anything to go out of there way and make them happy.

So in short he wants to prove that you have to wad through shit in order to find your diamond in the ruff so he set out to prove it and after a while he asked her if she liked him all that stuff and it turns out she liked billy. Now it was all working out till delta showed up.

see now not only is she confused but so is billy she said she doesn't want delta anymore and has no interest in him at all and billy See's that as a small sense of hope that he can go back to they way it was. But billy is confused about it all and when he tries to get answers things don't really go his way.

She sayes things about going on "vacation" to get away from it all she also sayes that she doesn't even know if she wants a relationship anymore with anyone which bothers billy allot due to the fact that he truly dose care about her and dose what ever he can to see her smile and happy.

billy has thought about it and wants to let her go and do her thing because he knows that as long as she's happy he will be happy and from what he thinks about it it's all he truly wants for her he knows shes been through allot and he just wants her to be happy so whether its with billy or anyone Else her happiness is what really matters to him the most.

But he has a hard time doing it because he cares about her to much and doesn't want her to feel alone and sad even though she has her friends and what not he believes he should be there for her help her out even though he believes in something stupid called the friend zone but he doesn't care.

See billy thinks that in time things will work them selves out and everything will resolve them selves and that's what he hopes for the future to fix all this.

this is all i feel like writing up on here i may end up deleting all this if i feel that others may find out about this all with out me telling them or that they may spread it to others or if i just don't feel like seeing this on here at all i may turn to the blog again soon depends i guess really